These are some of my fave quotes!

If life gives you lemons... take 'em, 'cus, hey! Free lemons!

I never argue with an idiot. They drag me down to their level, and then beat me with experience

Sanity!? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?

Just when you realize life's a bitch, it has puppies.

I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

I'm not antisocial, I just don't like you.

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

In man's struggle against the world, bet on the world.

If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

I did not just escape from the insane asylum; those sirens are a complete coincidence

Those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied history are doomed to know its repeating

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run - He hates that

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic

Therapy is expensive, but bubblewrap is cheap

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally

Only you can get coins stuck under your spacebar...only you...

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy

If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever


Hope you liked 'em